This is my avoidance

I'm supposed to walk to the mail box. It's about 1.5 blocks away. 5 min walk 1 way. I'm avoiding it. Why? Turns out I have an anxiety disorder. HA! All those years I thought I was just REALLY shy. Nope. An actual disorder. Diagnosed by a professional I started seeing in Feb. So as part of my getting better I'm supposed to walk, alone, to the mailbox, then walk home, then repeat. It's the repeat part that blew my mind. I thought, do it once, done! yea me. Nope. Do it over and over the therapist says. Icky. She made me go for a walk during our session last week. How unconventional. *sad face* My appt is in 18 hrs so I better get moving. Haha. Just typing about going has made my hands sweat and my feet are now tingly. Great. Better go now before my legs go numb.



Update

Did it! What a great day out. Too bad most people think shoveling is optional. I'm lucky I didn't turn an ankle walking in that slush. I did walk through puddles because who can resist a good puddle. I will actually swerve to drive through a good puddle because it's awesome!

Driving Lessons

Here are somethings I have learned this winter about driving. If you have to kick snow away from the bottom of your car door before you open it....your car is too low....stay home....you will get stuck. If you have no ability to put your vehicle into 4 wheel drive....stay home.....you will get stuck. If you are driving on one of the side streets that the City, lovingly, left huge snow banks in one of the driving lanes and home owners feel they can still park on the street that has been reduced to one lane....the person that has the curb to their left MUST MOVE OVER. The snow hills on the right prevent moving over. Actually if you see my grill coming at you, you better just move, 'cause I got my 4 wheel on and I'm not stopping. But thanks to all my amusing neighbours that keep getting stuck in front of my house. It helps pass the time watching you. And to rub a little salt in the wound, I may just get into my Jeep and drive by you 3 or 4 times, 'cause I'm cool like that.

No mother, I do not want to see your ear hair.

Sheesh. I love my mother but WOW. I don't want to know that hair grows in your ears and I CERTAINLY DO NOT WANT TO SEE IT!!!! Seriously, my mother yoinks a hair out of her ear and says "Wanna see it". To which I reply EEWWWEEE NO, and she crosses the room and shows me anyway. Hand in my face. Geez mom. Holy need some boundaries batman.

Graduation

So I received more stuff/crap in the mail about #1 son graduation. I'm happy he's graduating. No, really, I am. So why does his accomplishment create so much for me?? No one gives mom a certificate for dragging his butt out of bed to be on time for school EVERY day. For all the nights I nagged about homework. For all the phone calls about 'why is your son not applying himself'. For all the grief. Sheesh. I just want to sit in a crowd. Clap when he gets his diploma and go home and relax. But noooo. We have photo dates, rehearsal dates, ceremony dates, dinner dates, party dates, fundraiser dates. Date, date, date, can I get a fig? Sigh. And does the other absent parent have to do anything? Nope. But he gets to show up like he in some way had anything to do with it. Other than contributing DNA. Yes, I may be munching on a bitter pill but it's mine. So I will now swallow it and carry on.

aha

I'm still hanging in there. Kayla took off with the baby. We haven't seen or heard from her in 6 weeks. Typical behaviour from her. I could spend all day about his but I don't want to dwell on the negative. She has been reported to child welfare and I can only hope they do their job and protect that baby.